I have been giving my future a lot of thought lately.
For the last 10 years, 2020 was the year I had set to
accomplish my “long term” goals. I don’t
know if this has anything to do with turning 40 or not, though this year I
realized 2020 is right around the corner, and I had no vision for myself beyond
that year.
About a month ago on a particularly cold and dreary early
spring evening I was feeling rather mopey about all of this and I shared my
lack of long term clarity with my husband Christian who, it turns out, didn’t
have much sympathy for me. With a touch
of sarcasm, he asked where all my “present moment awareness” and “mindfulness skills”
had gone and advised I just focus on what I needed to do right now and be
confident the future would reveal itself.
Wise and appropriate advice, yes.
Helpful and soothing, no. I went
to bed grumpy certain I had lost my sense of purpose and annoyed that Christian
couldn’t just tell me what it was.
Things seemed better the next morning and I went about my
busy schedule and indulged in the wonderment of my live, appreciating (most) every
moment and putting aside existential questions about my life beyond 2020.
Yet, the lack of clarity about my life’s desire beyond 2020 kept
nagging at me, particularly at night and on the weekends. It felt like the answers were just outside of
my reach and it was annoying.
The problem with “purpose” oriented questions is they aren’t
answerable within a prescribed time frame so as much as I wanted to have this
solved by the end of Q1, I inherently knew that wasn’t going to happen. Setting a deadline, it seems made it worse. In an attempt to solve this, I found myself
creating meaningless purpose statements that resembled a feeling in the moment,
or a passage in a recent book, so I stopped that nonsense.
Then I remembered two important things. One is a passage in the One Thing Book, which
as it turns out, I’m teaching to right now, that says “Answer come from
questions, and the quality of any answer is directly determined by the quality
of the question.” The other passage was “Absent
an answer, pick a direction.” My
realization was first, I needed help in asking better questions. That I could act on, and so shifted coaching
resources to engage with some different questions. And I already had a clear direction (back to
Christian’s advice) and so I needed to continue to move that way.
About 5 years ago, which is when it seems I was in a similar
space, I created 3X5 note cards to articulate my Someday Goal, my 5-year Goal,
and my 1-year Goal. Recently I found the
note cards when I was going through some things in my office. 5 years ago, my Someday Goal was “Globally inspiring
people to awaken to who they are.” My 5-year
goal was, “Nationally inspiring real estate agents and entrepreneurs to connect
with and live their greatest life.” It’s
interesting to look at that now. The
someday goal still seems aspirational and while my heart is still connected to
that statement, directionally anyway, it’s still too big for me to get my head
around. The 5-year goal though is fascinating. This year I’m traveling around the country
teaching a class that, I hope, does exactly what I said, 5 years ago, I wanted
to do in 5 years.
So where does that leave me today. First, I’m resisting the urge to put a
deadline on this work of my vision beyond 2020.
I know it doesn’t work that way, as much as my linear mind would like it
to. Second, I’m bringing some coaching
resources to bear on this so that I can work through better more clarifying and
powerful questions. Third, I’m paying more attention to what feels right.
I’ll end by sharing a technique I introduced this year that
I really like and that is writing 3-4 monthly mantras on 3X5 notecards that are
designed to connect with what I’m working on in the moment and move the energy
forward in that 30-day period. Each
morning and evening I pick the note card that feels more pertinent that day,
read it, absorb for 10 seconds, and move forward. My April note cards are as follows:
I move in the direction
of the open space. I am becoming more visible.
I create a pathway for
others. I demonstrate what is possible.
I let go of that which
I do not need.
I speak the truth and
I help others see the truth.
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