A very unexpected and surprising trip through the English countryside

Day 1 – Travel to London

Getting away for 10 days takes discipline and so by the time our departure date arrived we were ready.  Trip planning is my weekend past time and so I had all the details covered, planning just enough time for spontaneity.  Yes, I see the irony in that.  That’s how I roll, I like to have a plan with hotels, flights, and tours booked in advance. 

The focus of this trip wasn’t London, but rather a 7-day tour of France from Normandy to Paris.  However, I wanted to try the daytime flight to Europe and London is the only European destination with a daytime flight and so I inserted a couple days in London into the itinerary.

We departed at 8:20AM DC time and flew economy on United.  I’m very careful about allocating point redemptions so that we can fly business class overseas without paying full freight, but that didn’t work out this time for this leg of the journey and so we ended up in economy on the way over.  Uncomfortable, but doable, and in my opinion much better than flying overnight in economy.  I did catch myself complaining silently to myself about flying economy but kept those thoughts (mostly) in my head, with maybe a mutter or two as the meal was served.  I’ll tell you, once you fly business class, it’s very difficult to go back!  Yes, this falls into the category of “not a real problem.”

I sat next to a lovely lady probably in her 70s headed over to Italy for a couple weeks with her husband.  When I mentioned we were going to France she gasped in horror, and warned me to be very careful.  Without blinking I assured her we were experienced travelers and would remain alert and on guard, particularly in the larger cities.  That seemed to ease her concern somewhat, though as soon as I said it, I realized I was disturbed by both her genuine concern for my wellbeing in France, and then how quickly I responded to assure her I would be very careful.   

We landed on time and made it through immigration, onto the super easy Heathrow Express, and were in our hotel by about 11PM.  I chose to use some of my Hilton points and booked us for our two nights in London in the Conrad, a beautiful hotel just a few minutes from Westminster Abbey.  Two amazing Chicken Tikka Masala dinners via room service later and we were asleep by 2AM.

Day 2 – London, the Churchill War Rooms, and a visit to Roman ruins, Borough Market, and more

ToursbyLocals.com is one of my go-to sites for tours around the world and I had arranged a half-day tour of London to see some sites we hadn’t seen a couple years ago when we were last in the city.  After a spot-on breakfast buffet, we met our tour guide Denise in the lobby at 10AM sharp and we set for a few hours. 

Our first stop was The Churchill War Rooms which are underground bunkers built just prior to the start of WWII and used by the Cabinet, the BBC and others to run the country during the war. http://www.iwm.org.uk/visits/churchill-war-rooms After the war people literally got up from their desks, left the rooms, and locked the doors.  They remained untouched for decades until a recent restoration.  This is well worth a visit.  Churchill was a larger than life figure and you could almost smell the cigar smoke in the bunker.  Visit, and I promise you’ll be transported back to the Blitz and will leave with a new level of understanding of what people went through.  I left thinking, no matter how bad we think the world is right now, WWII was clearly worse.  It’s headline news when a terrorist kills 2 or 3 people as just happened in London a few days ago.  60 million people were killed during WWII.  60 million, difficult to imagine on that scale.

Next, we watched a few minutes of the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace and continued walking to see the ruins of a Roman Amphitheatre under the Guildhall Art Gallery.  This was absolutely one of those places you’d never find without a guide unless you were looking specifically for it.  It was a surprise to see this in the heart of London.  https://www.cityoflondon.gov.uk/things-to-do/visit-the-city/attractions/guildhall-galleries/Pages/londons-roman-amphitheatre.aspx

Then we walked through Borough Market which was bustling with weekend crowds and had every aspect you’d expect of a London outdoor market in the spring, and then ended our tour in front of the recreation of Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre along the river Thames.  We said goodbye and thank you and had lunch at Swann Café next to the Theatre.  It was a perfect day, in the lower 60s with strong spring sun and we were so pleased to be in London.

After lunch decided to check out the Theatre – it was Shakespeare’s birthday weekend after all.  We bought tour tickets the highlight of which was the ability to sit in on a rehearsal for that evening’s production of a modernized Romeo and Juliet.  The tour was only about an hour and so that gave us time to head back to the hotel to rest for a few minutes.  We had 7:30 tickets to Beautiful: The Carole King Musical. 

We love musicals and go to many and so we didn’t feel too bad about leaving at intermission because the show wasn’t interesting enough to override our hunger.  We had a little bit of jet lag and our eating schedule was still way off and so we left and grabbed a bite at an unmemorable restaurant nearby the theatre.  We love the West End and could have chosen better but we were too hungry to make a good decision.  We decided to walk the 3 miles back to the hotel which was a real treat.  I love a long walk through a city.  It’s magical to watch some neighborhoods close for the evening, and a few blocks later walk through a neighborhood just coming to life.  It’s also so good for my soul to just be present with the vibe of the city.  I purposefully did not buy a data package for my phone so I wasn’t even tempted to sneak a peek at my email or at the latest news updates.  It was just the two of us, walking through London at near midnight, pretending to be locals in one of the world’s greatest cities. 

Day 3 – Travel, out of London and then – surprise – back again!

Our flight was at noon from Stanstead Airport to Dinard, France and so we hopped on the tube (subway) to the Liverpool Street Station to catch the Stanstead Express train to the airport.  45 minutes to Stanstead instead of 15 to Heathrow seemed much further than it should be, though like all trains in the UK, it was efficient.  We arrived to check into our Ryanair flight with plenty of time to spare.  Thus far everything was working beautifully, and then we hit a serious snag.  Ryanair declined to check-in Christian because his passport was expiring just shy of 90 days.  We quickly realized we made a major rookie mistake and didn’t take care of that in DC.  It wasn’t for lack of trying, he had been trying to make an appointment for 3 months though the embassy in DC seems to be following the lead of the chaos in the country and he wasn’t able to renew.  We forgot the press the issue because we were busy getting a UK visa for him and forgot that France would require something different.  So back to London to see if we could get any help from the Venezuelan Consulate – but not until the next day since it was Sunday. 

On the train, back to London the reality set in.  It was unlikely the Venezuelan Consulate would issue Christian a new passport same day and so all our tour of the French countryside plan melted away.  It was very frustrating and I was annoyed at both myself for not thinking about this and at Christian for not being more assertive in taking care of his documents.  Not knowing what was going to happen we booked for one night in the Double Tree next near Westminster.  We took a long nap and decided to make the best of our unplanned evening in London and went to a well rated restaurant in Mayfair called The Galvin at the Athenaeum.  It was classy and well done, by Michelin-starred chefs Chris and Jeff Galvin.  I love a great meal and this was one and so my attitude of disappointment started to fade.  We decided to walk back to the hotel along the river Thames and enjoy the coolish evening.

Day 4 – a trip to Venezuelan and Finding the Universe

9AM we were off to the Venezuelan Consulate which was only a few tube stops from the hotel where we left our luggage in storage.  The sign on the door said, “please knock, doorbell doesn’t work” which seemed so apropos to both the situation and Venezuela itself.  The Consulate’s office looked like a non-descript, stuffy government office you’d expect to see in, well, Venezuela with a completely unhelpful, but pleasant receptionist who told us the “system was down” and we should come back that afternoon and Yaitza “Jaieetza” might be able to help.  Oh, but we should call first to make sure she’s in and maybe she can help us.

Within about 60 seconds it was clear Christian was not going to get a same day passport from the Consulate and we would probably spend our entire vacation working on it.  So, we punted and decided to completely rearrange the trip and stay in the UK the entire time.  I was stressed out thinking about all the money we’d lose canceling the plans in France and all the time I had spent creating the plan!  Christian found it humorous to watch my carefully laid out plan fade away.  He had always not so secretly wanted us to take a trip with very little planning and he was finally getting his wish!  He was positive everything would work out, I wasn’t so sure.

So back to the hotel and we started planning.  While I was busy canceling what I could cancel and changing our Paris to DC return flight to London DC Christian ran across http://www.findingtheuniverse.com which has several wonderful itineraries.  We landed on the One Week UK road trip itinerary http://www.findingtheuniverse.com/2016/03/UK-Itinerary-One-Week-Road-Trip.html and really liked it.  Our plan was to do something similar in France and I had always wanted to tour the English countryside and visit castles and cottages and so we both agreed to make that happen.  I rented a car one way from Heathrow to Edinburgh for the following day, found us another night in London at the Hilton Paddington (dingy, dark, smelled of moth balls, don’t recommend), and we started to look at Bed and Breakfasts for the first two nights of the trip.

My perfectly planned, down to the minute trip was no longer and so we did as much planning as we thought we could/should and left the rest to chance with the online itinerary as our general guide.  I was honestly a little uncomfortable about 1) not having everything planned and 2) thinking about driving through England.  Driving on the other side of the car on the other side of the road intimidated me.  It’s about 800 miles from London to Edinburgh so we expected to have plenty of windshield time in the next few days.  What we didn’t expect though, was just how much fun we were about to have.

Day 5 – Travel to The Howard Arms via Castle Combe

A train from Paddington Station to Heathrow to pick up our car, and a quick check of the map and we were off.  Driving on the other side of the car and the road was indeed disorienting.  It’s easy to forget how much driving is unconscious and so when I had to pay a great deal of attention to everything it was intense.  After a couple missed round-abouts, an angry Englishman honking at me going down the wrong side, and an argument with Christian about needing to have more patience with me as I learned the system and to turn off the damn radio in the meantime, we were on our way to Stonehenge, our first stop.  Admittedly I always thought it was Stonehedge and so that was my first ah has.  My second was, we don’t know a lot about it.  The most interesting thing about it is, well, we don’t know much about it.  We seem to know a great deal about a lot of very old things, but this it turns out is so old we’re not sure exactly.  Honestly, it was nice for a quick picture and a “I was there moment” and that was about it. 

Our next stop was Bath, England, which was very interesting and beautiful.  The Georgian architecture was stunning.  A bus load of Chinese Tourists we had encountered at Stonehenge ended up parking and walking to the exact area we were so we knew, for a tourist, we must be in the right spot.  Unfortunately, we didn’t have but a few minutes to explore because we had started late so we parked for about 45 minutes, took a walk around some of the neighborhoods, noted in our minds that this was a “must return” city, snapped a couple shots and kept going knowing we had a pretty substantial drive to our B&B in the Cotswold’s. 

The Cotswold’s is an area of England known for quintessential English villages and it does not disappoint.  Our first stop in the Cotswold’s was, as it turns out, one of the best, Castle Combe.  It was, as the brochure says, the “Pretties little village in England.”  Certainly, the prettiest we had ever seen.  We arrived at dusk, just after a rain shower, and so the village was very quiet and smelled of wood burning.  The spring birds were singing brilliantly and it felt like we stepped way back time.  We decided to eat dinner at the Castle Inn http://www.thecastleinn.co.uk and enjoyed the sun set and a hearty English meal.  We still had an hour to drive so at about 8PM we were back in the car on our way to our first stop, The Howard Arms Inn.

Day 6 – Cotswold’s to the Peak District

The Howard Arms is in the village of Ilmington.  Expertly done, full English charm, it couldn’t have been a more perfect first night on the road for us. http://howardarms.com  I found out later most of the villages have “The [insert name] Arms” which are Pubs and sometimes Inns.  We visited several throughout the week and the food was always excellent, and the company warm and authentic.  We had a good night’s sleep and a full English breakfast and we were off to visit more villages across the Cotswold’s.  Our next stop was the village of Bibury (adorable), followed by Lower Slaughter (despite the name, ridiculously cute) for coffee and a sandwich.  Then we headed north into the Peak District and stopped at Baddesley Clinton a 500-year-old estate in heart of the Forest of Arden (middle of nowhere).  It was pretty impressive, complete with a moat.  Much of it was untouched as it somehow escaped war and plunder through the centuries.  It didn’t seem like a “real castle” to me because it was small(ish) though well worth the stop.  https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/baddesley-clinton

We eventually made it to Callow Hall, a gorgeous small hotel just outside town.  http://www.callowhall.co.uk  Denise checked us in and was simply delightful, giving us an upgrade to a large room over-looking the fields.  We had a very good dinner that night in the Inn and made it to bed around 11PM.

Day 7 – Haddon Hall, Chatsworth and the ménage a trois

From Callow Hall and the Peak District, it was time to visit some proper castles and our first stop was Haddon Hall  http://www.haddonhall.co.uk.  I was so pleased to visit a real example of a fortified medieval “manor house” that dates from the 12^th Century.  Amazingly it was dormant for over two hundred years from 1700-1920s when the 9^th Duke and Duchess of Rutland restored the house and gardens and live in it today.  I found it so fascinating that something could avoid fire, war and other issues, remain in the same family, be vacant for a couple hundred years, and still be standing today.  We walked through the property and could easily imagine hundreds of years of lives and stories.  So many people had lived and died calling Haddon Hall home or work.  It was a humbling experience of history.  If you go, spend extra time in the kitchen, which is nearly untouched after all this time.

Next stop, Chatsworth House, https://www.chatsworth.org.  A gorgeous “home” to the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire, that has passed down through 16 generations of the Cavendish family.  As we walked through Chatsworth my thoughts were on how these grand estates have outlived so many people that the purpose of the family often becomes keeping the estate alive and in the family.  The house transcends being a home and turns into a place that represents tradition, patriotism, history, and each owner through the centuries tries to put their special touch on the house as a part of their legacy.  Not everyone did such a great job of legacy building.  I read about one owner who lived in the property in a ménage a trois.  That was, apparently, the only noteworthy historical reference for that Duke.  Imagine, if history’s only reference point for you was that you were in a ménage a trois!  That seemed so random to note in an otherwise extremely “proper” place.

We had a 2.5-hour drive to our next stop for the evening, Mallard Grange so we left at about 5pm and continued north.

Day 8 – Maggie at Mallard Grange and our encounter with ghosts at Chillingham

If you’re anywhere near this place, you must stop for a night with Maggie at the Mallard Grange, which is a working farm and has been since the 16^th century.  Maggie’s husband runs the farm and Maggie has set herself up with a little 4-room bed and breakfast and is the most perfect English proprietor.  http://www.mallardgrange.co.uk  Mallard Grange wouldn’t be the same without Maggie’s smile, English wit, stories about the animals on the farm over breakfast or without the cow manure smell.  Normally I wouldn’t like that at all (the manure smell), though in this case, it was as perfect and as appropriate as the English breakfast served at Maggie’s dining room table.  Our room was very comfortable and seemed to have been recently renovated.  I loved everything about Maggie’s Mallard Grange, including the dinner she recommended at The Percy Arms in the nearby town.

That morning we went and saw the Fountains Abbey, the ruins of an old Abbey.  Well worth the stop.  We didn’t spend too much time there because we had a lot of driving to do to get to Northumbria. https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/fountains-abbey-and-studley-royal-water-garden

We arrived at our evening accommodations Chillingham Castle at about 4:30, just in time to see the castle state rooms before they closed.  I really wanted to stay in a “real” castle and found Chillingham Castle online the night before.  http://www.chillingham-castle.com.  Chillingham has a sordid history.  In brief, it was mostly used to torture and kill people because of its proximity to the Scottish border in the disputes between the English and the Scots over the years.  It was left to ruins until Sir Humphrey Wakefield bought the grounds around it and was given the castle in 1982 because his wife is a distant relative of the family line and he had a vision for it and the family agreed to the transaction.  Sir Humphrey has spent 30 years and I’m sure an enormous sum restoring the castle to its Medieval form.  What I didn’t realize when I booked it, is that it’s also one of Europe’s most haunted castles. 

It’s raw, both the restoration, the building itself, and to some extent the people who work there.  And Sir Humphrey appears to be quite an unusual character who has collected all sorts of stuff, displayed around the castle, mostly covered in dust.  It looks like a lot of junk, but upon closer inspection it’s all pretty interesting.  The place is incredibly creepy and I had a hard time imagining anyone living there.  We were the only overnight guests from what I could tell and we stayed in the Grey Apartment.  “It’s our most popular!” Cindy said when she booked it for me a few days prior.  What I didn’t realize is that is code for “our most haunted.” 

They had a ghost tour that evening in the castle from 9-11PM and I convinced Christian we should go.  He wasn’t so sure, but I persisted.  We went on a Ghost Tour in Savannah Georgia some time ago and really liked it and well, since we were here – why not.  At that point I still didn’t know the history of that place or it’s renowned reputation, though I did find it odd that as the staff was closing for the night they emphasized several times that we should not go into rooms with closed doors.  The place really emptied out and by 8pm it appeared as if we were the only people in the castle.  It was dark.  Very dark.  Our “apartment” in the castle was huge and full of old antiques and creepy photos.  By 8:40PM I saw people were arriving for the ghost tour and so by 9PM were went down into the courtyard to join them.

The first thing I noticed was “Paranormal Investigators” on the t-shirts for our guides, Jill and Graham and Jill carrying some sort of electronic equipment.  We started promptly at 9PM and Graham began by telling us some of the horrid history of the castle and warned us to be careful and gave us tips should we be overtaken by spirit or encounter one of the castle’s many ghosts.  “Don’t run and if you’re about to throw up, turn away.” was his clearest advice as he described many people on past tours who handled encounters with the ghosts poorly.  There were about 20 of us in the group and we all sort of laughed uncomfortably until it seemed he was quite serious. 

Chillingham’s position next to the Scottish border meant there were terrible atrocities throughout the middle ages.  John the “Head Torturer” for a period of years it seemed really enjoyed finding creative and unimaginable ways for people to die.  We started out by the “hanging trees” which as the name would suggest were trees most conducive to hanging people, particularly children.  The trees still stand today.  From there we went back to the castle through some of the rooms and into the torture chamber.  There were several strange occurrences throughout the tour including one instance in the torture chamber where Christian and I were standing against one of the torture devices (called the iron maiden) on display and it moved about a foot away from us and I felt it.  It was a very large heavy wooden box and after it happened I pushed it a little to see if I could make it move.  No luck.  I guess it could have been staged though I’m not sure how in the room we were in.  It certainly seemed to move on its own power.  And then there were the cups in the dining hall that fell, and a couple other things.  Looking back on it now I suppose it could have all been set-up though I didn’t get the feeling they were putting on a show.  Later as we were looking at our pictures we did capture one picture with several orbs in it. Graham and Jill seemed very genuine.  

After 2.5 hours on the ghost tour we were sufficiently spooked, and everyone left and we went back up to our apartment.  Alone.  This time however with a complete history of the terrible things that had happened in the castle.  To add to the drama our bed faced a door that lead to a staircase where apparently at some point two men were literally walled in and left to die. 

I’m normally a great sleeper, but that night, I didn’t sleep at all.  While nothing happened to us in the apartment we were completely freaked out and alone in the castle.  Neither of us would leave the room alone, all night.

Day 9 – Northumberland to Edinburgh, and thank goodness, room service.

The next morning, after no sleep, we were up and ready to leave but wanted to explore the grounds a bit more.  The castle looked less spooky in the day though still seemed haunted.  We ran into the owner Sir Humphrey Wakefield on the way out which was a pleasure.  We had a brief chat and he asked how he thought he would be treated when he was dead and a ghost in the castle.  An unusual question on a normal day though at Chillingham, it seemed like a perfectly appropriate one.  I told him I thought he would be treated very well because he was a good man and had restored the castle.  He seemed pleased with that response, shook our hands and disappeared around a corner. 

Graham our ghost guide was there in the morning preparing for an all-night “vigil” they were having that evening from 11PM-4AM to document more paranormal activity.  I had no doubt they would encounter some, though we had had about enough.  Scott toured us around the gardens pointing out a few more deathly occurrences in a jovial sort of way.  It was all quite interesting I will admit, though we were very glad to leave Chillingham.  We took one last look, a couple more pictures and headed down the road.

Our next stop was Alniwick Castle which was a more traditional tourist stop.  Perfect for kids, complete with activities like learning how to shoot bows and arrows and fight like a knight.  It was cute seeing all the little kids running around in their little costumes.  I couldn’t help but think how horrified their parents would be if they knew the real history behind some of the occurrences in the castles.  Maybe they did, but didn’t care.  One night at Chillingham would change their view – I thought.  Alniwick, while touristy, was very “castle like” and is worth the stop.

From there back in the car north to the coast to see Bamburgh Castle, on the sea.  It was beautiful, set right next to the sea in a bed of grass dunes that blew in the wind like a perfect picture.  We walked along the sea for a while, though it was cold so we didn’t linger, and then went in to see the castle.  By then I was starting to get castled out and frankly tired.  We had stayed somewhere new every night for the last several days and we had another hour to go to get to Edinburgh.

We pulled into our hotel just outside of Edinburgh around 7PM and I was never so glad to hear “yes we have 24-hour room service” and “the concierge can help you with that”.  We were exhausted from the lack of sleep and constant travel and touring for a week.  It’s funny how tiring touring can be.  Hotels in the city were incredibly expensive for some reason so we stayed at the Dalmahoy Hotel and Country Club 20 minutes outside the city and both of us were in bed and asleep by about 11PM.

Day 10 – Edinburgh

We had never been to Scotland so it was fun to be in Edinburgh.  The drive into the city from our hotel was not impressive at all and we became concerned we wouldn’t like the city.  Our flight back to London was at 7:30PM so we only had a few hours to explore.  Luckily, as we approached the city center things changed and we could see the charm of the city. Given we only had a few hours we decided on a hop on hop off bus tour, followed by a snack, and a quick breeze through the Edinburgh castle.  We were very disappointed by the castle probably because we had seen the best of the best all week.  We agreed we liked the city and want to come back for further exploration someday. 

Day 11 – final day, travel home

After a night in the Heathrow Terminal 4 Hilton, it was time to come home and we boarded our flight at noon to DC.  I did manage the upgrade on the way back and so we were in business class on the new Dreamliner and it was really quite a perfect end to an amazing trip.  We were ready to get home and my mind and body was telling me I needed to get back to my routine. 

I love to travel to experience things completely outside my daily routine and to learn first-hand about history and people.  It gives me energy and reminds me how vastly different and yet the same we are as humans.  If you made it to the end of this blog post, you too must love the journey of the road and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about ours.  I thought I’d end with my favorite moments along the way.

1. Big Ben at midnight, just as the streets around Parliament quiet down.
2. Sticky Toffee Pudding, every restaurant has a slightly different take on it.  I know, I had at least 6.
3. Driving like it was the first time, this time on the left side of the road, and on the right side of the car.
4. Local village pubs across the English countryside.
5. Castle Combe village, just before sunset, at the bridge.
6. Haddon Hall’s medieval kitchen, untouched and in nearly the original form.
7. The hospitality of Maggie Mallard at the Mallard Grange.
8. The ghosts of Chillingham Castle.
9. A seaside walk along Bramburg Castle.
10. Tossing the plan aside and living each day as it came!

The Problem with Purpose – a note along the journey of me finding mine.

I have been giving my future a lot of thought lately. 

For the last 10 years, 2020 was the year I had set to accomplish my “long term” goals.  I don’t know if this has anything to do with turning 40 or not, though this year I realized 2020 is right around the corner, and I had no vision for myself beyond that year.

About a month ago on a particularly cold and dreary early spring evening I was feeling rather mopey about all of this and I shared my lack of long term clarity with my husband Christian who, it turns out, didn’t have much sympathy for me.  With a touch of sarcasm, he asked where all my “present moment awareness” and “mindfulness skills” had gone and advised I just focus on what I needed to do right now and be confident the future would reveal itself.  Wise and appropriate advice, yes.  Helpful and soothing, no.  I went to bed grumpy certain I had lost my sense of purpose and annoyed that Christian couldn’t just tell me what it was.

Things seemed better the next morning and I went about my busy schedule and indulged in the wonderment of my live, appreciating (most) every moment and putting aside existential questions about my life beyond 2020.

Yet, the lack of clarity about my life’s desire beyond 2020 kept nagging at me, particularly at night and on the weekends.  It felt like the answers were just outside of my reach and it was annoying. 

The problem with “purpose” oriented questions is they aren’t answerable within a prescribed time frame so as much as I wanted to have this solved by the end of Q1, I inherently knew that wasn’t going to happen.  Setting a deadline, it seems made it worse.  In an attempt to solve this, I found myself creating meaningless purpose statements that resembled a feeling in the moment, or a passage in a recent book, so I stopped that nonsense.   

Then I remembered two important things.  One is a passage in the One Thing Book, which as it turns out, I’m teaching to right now, that says “Answer come from questions, and the quality of any answer is directly determined by the quality of the question.”  The other passage was “Absent an answer, pick a direction.”  My realization was first, I needed help in asking better questions.  That I could act on, and so shifted coaching resources to engage with some different questions.  And I already had a clear direction (back to Christian’s advice) and so I needed to continue to move that way.

About 5 years ago, which is when it seems I was in a similar space, I created 3X5 note cards to articulate my Someday Goal, my 5-year Goal, and my 1-year Goal.  Recently I found the note cards when I was going through some things in my office.  5 years ago, my Someday Goal was “Globally inspiring people to awaken to who they are.”  My 5-year goal was, “Nationally inspiring real estate agents and entrepreneurs to connect with and live their greatest life.”  It’s interesting to look at that now.  The someday goal still seems aspirational and while my heart is still connected to that statement, directionally anyway, it’s still too big for me to get my head around.  The 5-year goal though is fascinating.  This year I’m traveling around the country teaching a class that, I hope, does exactly what I said, 5 years ago, I wanted to do in 5 years. 

So where does that leave me today.  First, I’m resisting the urge to put a deadline on this work of my vision beyond 2020.  I know it doesn’t work that way, as much as my linear mind would like it to.  Second, I’m bringing some coaching resources to bear on this so that I can work through better more clarifying and powerful questions. Third, I’m paying more attention to what feels right.

I’ll end by sharing a technique I introduced this year that I really like and that is writing 3-4 monthly mantras on 3X5 notecards that are designed to connect with what I’m working on in the moment and move the energy forward in that 30-day period.  Each morning and evening I pick the note card that feels more pertinent that day, read it, absorb for 10 seconds, and move forward.  My April note cards are as follows:

I move in the direction of the open space.  I am becoming more visible.

I create a pathway for others.  I demonstrate what is possible.

I let go of that which I do not need.

I speak the truth and I help others see the truth.

  

Whitewater and Predicable Success

I’m sitting here in the airport on my way to Bimini for a long weekend reflecting on the last several days at the annual Keller Williams convention in Las Vegas. Admittedly, I went into the event with a low energy tank.  We hit a brick wall the last two months with too many open positions that serve critical functions in the organization.  I’ve been working long hours trying to fill positions as quickly as possible and attempting to fill the gaps in the meantime.  The challenge with that is quickly filling critical positions is often in conflict with filling them with top talent.  And the reality is the organization is too big for me to personally fill the gaps with any reasonable chance of success. Frustrating. 

I’ve had a few restless nights lately wrestling with this, and turning 40 this year has made me evaluate the progress I’m making, or think I’m making generally.  Am I making a difference?  Am I maximizing my potential?  Am I utilizing my gifts to the fullest extent possible?  Where will I be in five years?

With that back drop, what Gary Keller said on day one jumped out at me.

“You can be anywhere you want to be in a five-year time frame with no more than five key people.”  Comforting to hear. 

This helps me feel more confident in my long-term trajectory, though back at home it’s a bit chaotic.

I came across something that is helping with that too, a book by Les McKeown called Predictable Success.  Les outlines six organizational lifecycles one of which is called Whitewater the third stage of growth that follows Early Struggle and Fun.  Whitewater occurs as a natural outgrowth from successful Fun.  It is unavoidable if you grow and is identified when the very success of Fun creates complexity which bogs down the organization.  In Whitewater, more people are added, decisions become more difficult, lines of communication are less clear, execution seems difficult. 

  

The goal is to get out of Whitewater as quickly as possible into Predicable Success by introducing and maintaining the right amount of systems and processes necessary to tame the complexity, while at the same time holding in balance the entrepreneurial zeal, creativity, and risk taking that have grown the business to this point.  He outlines in detail these five steps to do this:

1. Explain organizational life cycles to everyone.  Gives people perspective, hope and power to keep pushing through.
2. Make it clear that going back to Whitewater and Fun is not an option.  We are not going backward to the way “things used to be.”
3. Sr. Management must overtly support, affirm and model the important of adherence to process. 
4. Accept that many of your people will still leave.
5. Ensure that the hiring process reflects the organizational cultural shift.

I’m off to contemplate for a few days and reconnect with Christian and then I’ll be back at it next week, paddle in hand ready to hit the Whitewater!